This is just too much... makes me sick!

To think that people have a psychological difference due to "conservitive" compared to "liberal"... even the freaking words "consevitive" and "liberal" are dreadfully inacurate to begin with.

For example the word LIBERAL.. as in "spend liberally" or "use liberal amount".. WTF? That means pretty much that its "generous" or "much" or allot, not "just enough".. but a little more.

Conservitive as in "conservation" to preserve, perhaps with so called "tradition" but seriously, to conserve resources... something I detect people with that conservitive/liberal polarity belief system are not about to do.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/28/opinion/28kristof.html?_r=1&em

But this artical states that there is a psychological basis, that if you feel discusted by things, or sick from things.. you are probably a conservative, or if you feel at ease with some things you are probably liberal. I disagree. I do not believe that such belief systems have THOSE kind of psychological basis. I believe there must be in there to decide to polarize one way or another but for me personally, I would slap my own mother if she asked me to do so for the sake of comedy and not feel too bad, if it were for "fun" but on the other hand, I feel dreadfully discusted by the ground around places where people throw butts and gum on the ground, and bathroom sinks and public toilets...

so that would make me a CONSERVATIVE, under those psychological key points. As my feelings of discust would be simply too much to be labled "liberal". On the other hand I feel that whatever my psychological state is, my feelings of discust actually motivate me to believe that no one is pure enough with good intent because too many people miss the point of why the system wants and DESIRES polarization into two contrasting groups with unbearable contrasting needs..

Even SL splinters... you have to now stand on one side or another.. or be forced to do so. I refuse to be a part of it.. the expected move would either step away or complain and if I did complain, there would be TWO parties to shoot me down.. because my thoughts and my feelings do not fit the bill.

I've always felt that those who stand on the side of "normal" were always just a little twisted, almost perverse.. you know the types, right, people always trying to fit in? Ahhh.. I guess I must be reverse perversed-- I try to find people who fit my definitions.. if I even try. Reverse perversed sounds pretty good but only seems to mean that I carry the same problem the "normal" people have, and that is a dedication to a certain type of mindset, even if that mindset and type of person who I would rather associate with is very different from that of the "other types".

My husband is a very different creature than myself in appearances, but his motives much like mine are quite the same.. and I just recently felt or picked up on something he must have felt when reading something left on his desk.. and then I realized that for some of us, even if its not appearent, we are exactly alike in our core feelings, something that people can not see, nor how they can see via the way we project ourselves..

For the last couple of years I've been getting people from my past getting in touch with me, and for some reason the same topic comes up, usually an apology, but also the comment that I am like this watermark of honesty. And its not just from one person.. actually 3. I think though that the only reason that they assumed this of me in my past was because I was very agressive in my past when confronted with deceptive behaviours because I was very in need of honesty and truth. Family often didn't provide me this early in life, and I soon realized people didn't just tell lies, but believed them too.

I believe this is because of the addictions that many had, and because of addiction people will do or say almost anything to get what it is that they are addicted to..and believe it to be true.

These people are very difficult to read as well, and I have been decieved not just by members of my family with addictions but friends who needed help but were suffering from addictions themselves. Its the worst thing I feel for anyone to go though also because people with addictions are just not themselves..where they would never lie, under the influence of addiction, they not only lie but believe the lies.

And the problem is, they can be addicted to almost anything.. and in any way.. for example pornography and in a psychological way, but could one be addicted to porn in a physical way? I supose so. Religion is also something people can be addicted to, but at least with religion, its a little safer than drugs but some of the same actions are happening, only I would rather see people replace their drug/alcohol addictions with religion, or porn or sex, myself.. because usually these things are considered safe.

I guess it wouldn't be considered "conservative" or "liberal" of me saying people SHOULD be addicted to porn or sex or religon either LOL. Its just weird.. and thus, my own analysis shows I am neither nor, but rather a NA, not aplicable on this list of qualities or traits..

Perhaps this is why I usually find myself split up the middle with certain thought processes and why stupid tests that try to determine if your brain is a boy or girl brain don't work on me.. because I am girly, ( I am female biologically after all!!) but I'm a hard arse, I don't scare so easily.. unless you are talking about spiders.. but seriously, I'm a person who would usually pick up an animal that others simply would not. Bugs, toads, snakes and frogs, snails.. ect, but I am squeemish for spiders and would never want to cut a fish (much less eat one!) I see ladies in their kitchens doing the most grusom of acts.. and I can only cry or turn away or puke..but these are normal things done by women (and men) they put it on the tv too.. call them "cooking shows".. ect.

gimme an apple.. and take me out for tofu. I'm neither nor, not even both, but just as I am, myself. Toss away lables, they do no one any good.