Random thoughts, ideas and guesses, both educated and intuitive. Remarks on how others have seen the future and who was correct. på engelska

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Location: Huddinge, Stockholmsland, Sweden

Just another avatar in Second Life lured in with the promise of a baby unicorn..

Monday, February 08, 2010

Do I care that the White House Passes a Cybersecurity bill?

More stuff going on, I will out of the need to promote some kind of freedom.

People are having problems interfacing with various sites, New Zealand now can not visit heck, Fire fox's viewer is so put out that it refuses to spell New Zealand any longer. Its one of those WTF moments!

While I still have some net freedom I thought I would post the infowars article since they themselves have said they want as many people to re-post these things.

Just because I don't like Alex Jone's personal style doesn't mean I don't see the seriousness of his message. He's a great journalist, I do see anyone who gets up off of their personal back side and start investigating things as one. People are saying right now that they can not access the infowars sites, but alas they can access porn which any government will tell you is an important part of keeping the "unwashed masses" distracted. But I digress, here is more serious reading:

Internet Censorship: Major Truth-Providing Websites Blocked By Asia Netcom To New Zealand Users

Clare Swinney

February 7, 2010

Has Chinese-style internet censorship arrived in New Zealand this year? The question is posed because two major news websites, and, both of which are run by documentary maker and radio show host Alex Jones, who is renowned for exposing the truths the mainstream media attempts to conceal, were found to be have been selectively blocked on Friday evening and were still unavailable at the time of writing.

Thankfully, this draconian measure does not effect all internet users in New Zealand however. It appears to be confined to those whose internet server providers, (ISPs), use Asia Netcom for their international internet traffic. Telstraclear, Vodafone and Worldxchange Communications users are not effected, while Woosh, Orcon, Slingshot, Telecom and Ihug users are.

An avid fan of and a 9/11 truth activist, Jeff Mitchell, reported on Saturday that he contacted his ISP, Orcon, to establish what was causing the block, and was advised by a computer technician who did a traceroute, that the break in traffic to the two websites was found to be occurring at Asia Netcom’s router in Sydney. This technician also advised that as Telstraclear used a different route, their customers were still able to access the two sites.

There have been calls for the Internet to be censored and controlled – and for an Internet 2 by proponents of a one world government, or “New World Order.” This is because the internet as it is, is impeding the global elites’ ability to push their tyrannical, self-serving agendas through.

A clear indicator that the internet is regarded as a serious threat to global elite was evident when on March the 18th, 2009 Senator Jay Rockefeller of the Rockefeller dynasty, a family pivotal in the push for a one world government, [1,2] went so far as to suggest that it might have been better if the internet had never been invented and we went back to using pencils and paper, [3]. While it may have seemed like a ridiculous statement to make at the time, it was an indicator of what the global elite are aiming for and a warning. They want to make it increasingly difficult to get to the truth and they want to regain control of all media.

Consequently, it is of no surprise that and appear to have been selectively targeted, as these two sites present a huge threat to the global elites’ operation. They provide access to credible information, from a wide range of contributors, which has been crippling the elites’ agendas. They have been providing updates on what has been happening around the world, including access to the Alex Jones radio show, which is now the most popular radio show on the internet worldwide. They expose that 9/11, the bombings of 7/7 and Oklahoma City, and the underwear bomber, were inside jobs and that, in fact, many terror-related events are government-sponsored. Plus, they have been pivotal in exposing that man-made global warming and the H1N1 pandemic were hoaxes, and that the Federal Reserve bank is taking money from the taxpayers and putting it in the pockets of bankers, and that it should be shut down.

Hopefully, this block is merely a temporary problem. If not, action may be necessary. In the meantime, you can still pick the radio show up at by proxy, and read some of the articles on Alex Jones’ other sites which are still available, including, Propaganda Matrix and Also, you can use to read Infowars and articles. Plus, is still accessible and you can still access the shop which sells his documentaries via the link here:

Keep getting the truth out!

In Peace.

Oh Death!

There is nothing more than life until it ends, we see it end centimeter by centimeter increments, so slow and subtle it goes beyond our collective perceptions.

It is claimed that we all collectively begin to die as soon as we are born, but this is just an awareness of the fact that we are so fragile in our attachment to this world in the beginning.

I saw a disturbing video just now, one I thought was worth while to post here; not because I want to harm anyone or shock anyone, and not that its not a commonly seen or remembered thing. We all collectively know that animals are being caught and caged, slaughtered and raised for food or fur or leather of what have you for a huge profit, in some cases "pet" animals as in the case seen in China a number of years ago. Although I had pointed out the suffering of fur is just that, someone pointed out that the suffering that occurs with a "pet" animal, raised to trust humans is all the more. Even still wild animals are skinned alive, still looking up at the camera and the skinner.

What are we in the face of this? Who are we? Do we collectively just say its OK? Is this the cause of our own suffering?

Upon the sight of the fox or wolf (I didn't really look because I had to avert my eyes) I immediately saw that this could not only happen to a human, but an innocent human, such as my own son, or someone's baby and that I could not differentiate a feeling to distinguish an emotional difference, and my only safety factor was that I was looking at a video, that it had happened already and that it wasn't my baby.

And yet there are people who will say "it is women and their obsession with fur coats that has caused this, those women are responsible!!!!" Hardly! Their desire for such things is simply based upon what society has agreed that is a status symbol and nothing more, nothing more, and to keep the industry going it relies upon the image of beautiful, young successful and ignorant women (and men). Women who wax (or laser) ever bit of body hair off of themselves, and then compensate with a thick warm coat of fur. Is it warm? Certainly it is! But is it like exploitative porn or rather those "death porn" snuff films, or better yet, is it not anything like buying a kidney off a Chinese teenage girl and allowing her to die so that she can't even spend the money she "earned"?

When is MY life and my body your commodity? Who is buying it and who is earning from it? It goes down to the drugs prescribed to "lengthen" my "suffering" while causing me to pay for every minute of it RATHER than curing me. And when I am considered not worthy of the gift of life and that someone else is much more worth this gift we are all given as creatures and babies of our mother "Earth", someone will sacrifice my life, collect that which is quantifiable and move along, never thinking once of the consequences, never thinking that there is a soul, or energy or essence that has animated my purpose and physical manifestation. And when karma comes to play its roll, they can easily give this karmic guilt to someone else and make their society and culture bare the burden of it. And the cycle completes itself.

I am here to relinquish my "karmic debt" that was never mine to begin with, for I had been coerced into believing that this guilt was mine to take. It was never mine for I am innocent, I am innocent of war, and of a number of crimes people connect to an idea of "race" and the colour that my skin has, which has nothing to do with my blood or genetic background. This "karmic debt" I still must burden if I live in any country which has made choices I participated in in any way, or has made me "pay into" in any way. I must confess I feel innocent of this "crime" but because of my cowardness am NOT, because the only way I could be free from guilt is to speak out. However in order to fulfill this speaking out, I would have to disrupt my "normal life" and the normal lives of others in the process. Allowing for this bliss creates my guilt.

And this is something I have unsubscribed from:

my comment:
"I think after that display I will unsubscribe, because its about men and what men wishing what women should be for men, and although I think there would be no problem with it if people were not targeting races to abort, or classes to abort its basically about men still using women as they wish and never having to face the consequences. You will never see planned parenthood world wide talk of women's health issues, just freedom of sex with men, so why not make an ad vasectomy or responsibility?"

I would elaborate farther and say that this video this video was about giving women the right to choose what men give them the right to choose. But if this is the case than isn't obvious more than often people choose to do things to make life easier? Isn't it easier for everyone involved? Sure, but life isn't supposed to be easy. I believe that abortion is and will always be a personal issue, but more and more its about the commodity of the female body to be used by men as they wish without care of what happens to the female. If it were about women and freedom there would be so much more involved, but this commercial was stated by a "man's man" that a fetus is not even a baby but rather a clump of cells. Well he's a man, he should know, right?

Men, excuse me, if this is anything, its a choice that a woman would have to make on her own, if she has this choice, and certainly, no one is going over to the American planned parenthood areas in the "Black" and "Hispanic" neighbourhoods and saying to them, "please stop, God doesn't want you to kill your baby"... that's because they have a rather racist God most of the time and they don't see a Eugenics agenda in every policy made. Even here, even here... secretly foreign women of the "darker" skinned variety are encouraged behind the backs of their husbands and fathers, mothers and brothers to abort.

This is a part of the spell of a death encouraging culture, you set value upon those who breed, some will have lesser, and some will have more. Those who determine this don't even realize that they do because the indoctrination is so pervasive.

Life is hope, don't make it have to "produce" or show its credits, its papers or its so called "value" because we are all born with the same value, we are all conceived with the same value, what we add to this in love is the thing that gives so much more, but please, if this is anything worth reading, remember to love those who need it the most, those who can not see themselves out of the paper bag of the "death culture" who can not see right from wrong and those who only think that they are furnishing themselves with a little more food on the table when they kill something, and those that have been indoctrinated to accept a pragmatic view of life which excludes the hope of the soul and the life force.

Oh Death! (Camper Van Beethoven)

Monday, October 19, 2009

No more fast for this year, I hope!

I am happy with the results of the fast, the clearning up of asthma, and now I have stopped taking all medicines. This is often not advised to do so, according to my doctor, its probably not a good idea, but I am very strong on the opinion of NOT taking anything now unless it is important to use. This is where we will come into conflict since I started off with a massive amount of prescribed asthma medicines including a tablet to add to the regular cortizone at extrodinary high doses. Now I like this feeling of NOT having difficulty breathing, although I wouldn't say I am completely clear and free in the sense of "perfection".

I examined my result last friday on the meter, I'm clearly in the green, although I have to say, I may only be within the 90%, but that is still better than at 75% with massive amounts of medicines.. that didn't seem to help clear up the condition. And like all things with side effects, cortizion has an immune supressive quality which can effect the body's own immune reaction to heal from virus or bacterial infection. My fear is that all that medicine was just causing more problems rather than helping me via the supression of inflamation.

I have started eating.. and its been allot, however I don't worry too much about the amount at this point because dipping into the "old fat" may well could not have continued.. the fat that was there, simply was probably something that needed dilution with new fat in order to get it to "move".

Fasting is not a diet program nor is it weight loss, if anyone thinks it is, they need to really wonder what the goal of dropping a few kilos only to grow it back... this is about detoxification and revitalisation, and although I bare more than a few extra kilos, it really isn't about that, because the body can only use up the fat that is easiest to burn, it won't be easy if there is something in it.. like the old built up fat based steriodal compounds.

I will be trying this again in the spring, when I feel as though its time for a more firm cleansing.. but I am very happy with the results. I feel I have won back some of my vitality and good health and for this I am thankful and greatful. I am going to avoid the refined sugar products that would grow undesired bacteria in the intestinal tract and wait it out with some healthy fibers, honey and natural yeasts.. not to mention miso, and naturally fermented cabage.. such as kimchee.. just things that are going to culture my intestinal bacteria into a sound collection rather than a fermentation vat for sugar loving parasites. This can only help me to maintain my recently found vitality.

I am psyched!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Hippocampus and amygdala Part 2,( another situation)

Hippocampus and amygdala as I mentioned before are the special areas of our brains, the core of our wired in instincts, survival mechinisims, hunger, drives, fear and security issues can be connected to this area. This is the place where they suspect the person with the panic attacks is getting their impulse and illogical fear from, and yet today its more about hunger and fear today.

I tried to look up this issue, this connection with the primal drives that some people have, and I seem to be for some reason wired up to have the impulse for discomfort and panic linked together with my hunger- and this being the seat of these two, the amygdala.

I learned something new while studying about how I was to break my fast properly on a site about fasting, and various types and aspects of fasting, but also read allot of different things from different writters on the site describing some of their personal experiences. One writer was a man who was extremely overweight who took up the fast in order to change his eating habbits, this man's story was very interesting, and in the end of something he had a list of things which were symptoms of problematic relationship to food.

It was the very first time I had seen these various questions, especially concerning how I feel when I am hungry. In the situation of the fast I do not really panic because I kind of know mentally, this is under control, I can relax about this. But I had never really thought so deeply about that panic and discomfort I get when I am in any kind of situation and I am extremely hungry. It does seem to change my entire mood too.

So I tried to look up this word phrase and that was "hunger causing fear or panic" something along that line, and then I was lead to other sites where anorexics talk of FEAR of HUNGER, it was wrong, totally wrong, as I do not fear my hunger and gladly feed it, but its that anxiety I feel, because I am affected by my hunger, the panic is not about fear of hunger, but rather hunger provoking fear and panic.. but it feels entirely physical. Its as if the body almost screams, "If you don't feed me, I am going faint" Its like blackmailing me..

Now maybe its not exactly purely a lack of fear of hunger either, as I contimplate my anxiety concerning hunger, perhaps it is more of something maybe I am denying. But with the fasting, after the fact, the hunger is not in command, its almost freeing me in this way, as though I don't have to be attached to the kitchen, and yet the irony is I am still spending most of my time in the kichen making food... either later, or for other people.

So perhaps I want to deny hunger's power over me? Perhaps so or perhaps not.. its really I think a physical connection that everyone must have, as we all need to eat to live and we can not have a relationship to life without any kind of food, could we? And if we did, would we be as human as we are when we are sitting at the table or sharing a meal with loved ones, families and or friends. We share and food is a social thing, not just a survival thing, its the pleasing aspects of together.

I would find it nice if everyone didn't insist upon eating meals I serve in completely different rooms of the house.. it just doesn't feel right and makes me even more edgey about the whole family, food and eating process. And yet now we end up focusing on "togetherness" in restaruants so as we all eat together and I am supposedly not the one person left out serving food to others.. right? And yet here I am, running about, trying to create nice meals and hoping every time to share it with my family... but the same thing happens every day.

A wise person knows that it is foolish to expect a new result from the same actions.. and here I am, waiting for that moment that they would all sit down here in the kitchen and eat together! Its breaking my heart sometimes..

And then there is this, my fasting, well I'm not eating so I can withdraw from your company which you don't seem to be interested in giving me anyway at times when it comes to food. Ah but never mind.. we will have to figure something out, won't we. Its just that I have become much more emotionally sensitive to the issue now. No big deal.

I would like to have, not only for myself but my family members, a healthy relationship towards food... even if my situation is extremely minor because it doesn't have more than two entire issues for the case of "compulsive eating" or some kind of emotional problem agravated by eating. And yet, the strength of the fear and discomfort is very much this thing that feels as though it has a hold on me.. and yet I do not enjoy grabbing junk food... and do avoid it, I hate potato chips and I almost loathe popcorn when I really used to love it so much..

I do have a profound weakness for knäckebröd, and this and broccoli are the things I imagine eating when I start feeling a bit hungry.. then there are those lovely sallads, you know, the kind like at the sushi restaruants, with the miso dressing.. *drool*
Then there is the fantastic Korean sallad, with rice, with all those various marinaded vegetables and sprouts, and kimchi.. if there was anything I could say I wanted so much in the entire world right at this moment for food it would be one of those sallads and a brilliant starter of Nori Maki... drinking green tea all night.

Then there are some other things I can think of such as chilli lime tofu sallad (from a Thai restaurant).. or even some other vegan cusine that is more like traditional French Crepes..filled with things like spinach, mushroom and tofu!

I love soups though too.. and since I live in the land of the kanterell, I have to say I love mushooms like kanterelles and shitake mixed together.. I have never thought that the two mushrooms could mix with anything other than something plain, but it seems the two aromatic mushrooms like shitake and kanterell are probably the best two to ever put together.

Must sleep, school tommorow, but not for me.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Spending more time on...

I've finally gotten my birthday pressie.. late but it was a nice thing to get, a new camera because the old one just didn't do it for me and I didn't choose it to begin with..

I am waiting now on just trying to load up the battery, its been HOURS!! Once I get the memory card I can do those long films I have always wanted to do, with such things as condencing five hours into a few minutes.. ect. It has this extended menu and is way too much to believe but, it has some flaws such as, it was hard to find out just how much memory it has built into this bastard and, there was a strange warning about skin reactions to the actual camera itself which got me weirded out... I mean pentax was supposed to be a good brand, from since I was little.. from before I was little.

They call this brand the work horse of cameras, just as the fender is the work horse of guitars.. (and yeah I take note of who is playing what too)

This hard wearing camera has a waterproof, dust proof, shock proof feature.. as well as all that professional stuff that goes into those massive expensive system cameras.. its really compact and extremely light, which makes me worry about stablity with shots but then it has a high range of senstivity such as 64- 6400, that is not bad, and blows freaking stupid Sony bastards out of the water.

Sony since Marlyn Manson signed that developmental contract with you, I have always hated you manipulating monopolies of the explotive entertainment industry, I was forced to use your video cameras in school and your video tape products as well as your cassette tapes.. but finally, if it wasn't for my husbands VIO, I would be free... but no, you still shadow and haunt my every move.

I wonder if PENTAX would be making a computer any time soon, since the camera is already like a tiny computer anyway, you know with massive amounts of extended menues, calenders and clocks as well? This is crazy!

I wonder what I can do with my textures NOW?? Thank you for giving me hope to go outside with my camera and not worry about it anymore, as well as the interest in taking underwater pictures around Gotland, perhaps?.. too bad I didn't get it in gold, but gunmetal grey which seemed like a great choice UNTIL I saw that gold! That gold is really pretty.. I think gold would have been perfect, unless they decided to rename "gunmetal" to platinum, I would go with gold ;)

Perhaps I can give them a suggestion for the design next time? Name the colours after precious metals such as titanium, platinum, silver, copper and gold, and alloys such as pewter, electrum, bronze.. those kinds of things.. just because the colours available although pretty, were just too "toy like", red and blue, nice but not speaking of substance, even calling something "carbon steel blue" or "copper red" would have been better in my psychological impression too bad the colours were not THAT good.

Still, I hope the camera is as good as some of the impressions it has made:
Pentax Optio W80 .

Monday, June 08, 2009

Momus goes in depth on a topic I find close to my heart!

Thursday, June 04, 2009

This is just too much... makes me sick!

To think that people have a psychological difference due to "conservitive" compared to "liberal"... even the freaking words "consevitive" and "liberal" are dreadfully inacurate to begin with.

For example the word LIBERAL.. as in "spend liberally" or "use liberal amount".. WTF? That means pretty much that its "generous" or "much" or allot, not "just enough".. but a little more.

Conservitive as in "conservation" to preserve, perhaps with so called "tradition" but seriously, to conserve resources... something I detect people with that conservitive/liberal polarity belief system are not about to do.

But this artical states that there is a psychological basis, that if you feel discusted by things, or sick from things.. you are probably a conservative, or if you feel at ease with some things you are probably liberal. I disagree. I do not believe that such belief systems have THOSE kind of psychological basis. I believe there must be in there to decide to polarize one way or another but for me personally, I would slap my own mother if she asked me to do so for the sake of comedy and not feel too bad, if it were for "fun" but on the other hand, I feel dreadfully discusted by the ground around places where people throw butts and gum on the ground, and bathroom sinks and public toilets...

so that would make me a CONSERVATIVE, under those psychological key points. As my feelings of discust would be simply too much to be labled "liberal". On the other hand I feel that whatever my psychological state is, my feelings of discust actually motivate me to believe that no one is pure enough with good intent because too many people miss the point of why the system wants and DESIRES polarization into two contrasting groups with unbearable contrasting needs..

Even SL splinters... you have to now stand on one side or another.. or be forced to do so. I refuse to be a part of it.. the expected move would either step away or complain and if I did complain, there would be TWO parties to shoot me down.. because my thoughts and my feelings do not fit the bill.

I've always felt that those who stand on the side of "normal" were always just a little twisted, almost perverse.. you know the types, right, people always trying to fit in? Ahhh.. I guess I must be reverse perversed-- I try to find people who fit my definitions.. if I even try. Reverse perversed sounds pretty good but only seems to mean that I carry the same problem the "normal" people have, and that is a dedication to a certain type of mindset, even if that mindset and type of person who I would rather associate with is very different from that of the "other types".

My husband is a very different creature than myself in appearances, but his motives much like mine are quite the same.. and I just recently felt or picked up on something he must have felt when reading something left on his desk.. and then I realized that for some of us, even if its not appearent, we are exactly alike in our core feelings, something that people can not see, nor how they can see via the way we project ourselves..

For the last couple of years I've been getting people from my past getting in touch with me, and for some reason the same topic comes up, usually an apology, but also the comment that I am like this watermark of honesty. And its not just from one person.. actually 3. I think though that the only reason that they assumed this of me in my past was because I was very agressive in my past when confronted with deceptive behaviours because I was very in need of honesty and truth. Family often didn't provide me this early in life, and I soon realized people didn't just tell lies, but believed them too.

I believe this is because of the addictions that many had, and because of addiction people will do or say almost anything to get what it is that they are addicted to..and believe it to be true.

These people are very difficult to read as well, and I have been decieved not just by members of my family with addictions but friends who needed help but were suffering from addictions themselves. Its the worst thing I feel for anyone to go though also because people with addictions are just not themselves..where they would never lie, under the influence of addiction, they not only lie but believe the lies.

And the problem is, they can be addicted to almost anything.. and in any way.. for example pornography and in a psychological way, but could one be addicted to porn in a physical way? I supose so. Religion is also something people can be addicted to, but at least with religion, its a little safer than drugs but some of the same actions are happening, only I would rather see people replace their drug/alcohol addictions with religion, or porn or sex, myself.. because usually these things are considered safe.

I guess it wouldn't be considered "conservative" or "liberal" of me saying people SHOULD be addicted to porn or sex or religon either LOL. Its just weird.. and thus, my own analysis shows I am neither nor, but rather a NA, not aplicable on this list of qualities or traits..

Perhaps this is why I usually find myself split up the middle with certain thought processes and why stupid tests that try to determine if your brain is a boy or girl brain don't work on me.. because I am girly, ( I am female biologically after all!!) but I'm a hard arse, I don't scare so easily.. unless you are talking about spiders.. but seriously, I'm a person who would usually pick up an animal that others simply would not. Bugs, toads, snakes and frogs, snails.. ect, but I am squeemish for spiders and would never want to cut a fish (much less eat one!) I see ladies in their kitchens doing the most grusom of acts.. and I can only cry or turn away or puke..but these are normal things done by women (and men) they put it on the tv too.. call them "cooking shows".. ect.

gimme an apple.. and take me out for tofu. I'm neither nor, not even both, but just as I am, myself. Toss away lables, they do no one any good.

Monday, March 23, 2009

We still are the silent greatness..

like the soft influence of the wind blowing in the hair.. it comes from the larger forces..

when they talk about change, usually its spoken in the iconic "winds of change".. but we've only been blown about like leaves..

when we spoke with our hearts, our depths and longings.. we are only speaking to ourselves and asking permission to be validated by our strengths..

when we close our collective eyes and yet see.. we find ourselves out in the inner spaces of collective dreams..

when I dream about these destructive forces.. and about fighting with them, am I mearly dreaming of my self or of the struggle to marry two contradictory mates.. or is this something about a world in true struggle?

with delight I come across friendships and feelings I thought I had left behind and I realize that the distance is still needed to sort out everything I feel.